07 March 2003


From: John Bell, Cairns Qld., Australia
Date: 28 Feb 2003 04:31
Subject: Re: Old Boys Briefs 022803


I was never on FEAF MAMS but I did a tour in Singapore so I can offer a couple of short tales on Bugis Street.

After a Sgt's Mess Dining In a group of us, in full tropical mess dress, went to Bugis Street with our wives to round off the evening. After about an hour a couple of the wives went to powder their noses. My wife was the last in the queue. (They always seem to have to queue in the ladies I understand). Anyway, this big busty blonde in tight skirt etc etc enters and stands behind Jean. She tries to fix her bra strap and to do so has to use both hands. At this point she says to jean "Hold my handbag, darling". Well, the image was female but the voice was most definitely baritone. Jean could not get out of that loo quick enough.

A few lads from a Sqn detachment to RAF Tengah, Singapore, was taken down Bugis Street by a couple of us who were stationed there. They were briefed on "He-Shes" Kai Tais" call them what you will. One of the younger boys was quite taken by one "Lady" and would not believe that it was no lady. To cut a long story short, he ended up walking away with her, only to return five minutes later in a state of deep shock when he told us what he found when he put his hand up her skirt!

One of the regular He/Shes was the son of a British Navy Admiral who was serving in Singapore. When it was discovered, the family was tourexed pdq.



From: Ian Newlands, Didcot, UK
Date: 28 Feb 2003 04:59
Subject: Change of E-Mail Address

Hi Tony,

Still doing a great job with the website, many thanks. I have changed my e-mail address to: and would be grateful if you can amend your records. looking forward to the OBA chat on Fridays

Many thanks

Ian (Foddy)


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rom: Ian Berry, Swindon, UK
Date: 28 Feb 2003 05:53
Subject: Snow Clearance & Uncle Bill


In reply to Jim Aitken's query last week concerning snow clearance it's now called 'Black Top' but thank god we don't get involved (at Lyneham that is). It's solely the domain of the MT world although a few years ago one of their WOs didn't grit the camp roads to save money and Fitz Fitzgerald (recently retired) was one of the victims who wrote his car off as it skidded into the kerb and rearranged his wheels. The WO in question got an MBE for saving taxpayers money and now still does the same job as a civvie!

Picture attached is after a snow shower at Lyneham Dec 30th 2001.

In reply to Dave Barton's enquiry concerning Uncle Bill Wellman; well, as I've mentioned earlier, Bill lost all his savings in a Middle East bank crash approx 12 years ago. At that time he had just retired from many years service in the Sultan of Oman's Air Force (SOAF) a stint which included a tour as the Royal Baggage Master. I spent a few nights with Bill in the Officers Mess at Salalah in December 1977 when he had just been presented with a solid gold Rolex from the Sheikh. Once Bill retired he moved to Portsmouth but some 10 years ago said he was moving on to the Highlands where he planned to become a recluse in some crofters cottage! I know Gerry Keyworth for one is keen to find out where he is.

That's it for now, keep up the good work.



One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring. After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defence.

"Sir," she interjected, "do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?"
From: Gordon Gourdie, Euxton, UK
Date: 28 Feb 2003 07:48
Subject: Missing Links

Hi Tony,

I've been reading some of the old OBA Briefs in the Archives but cannot get into those for 051002 and 051702.

Have they been disabled or do I have a gremlin in my PC ?



[Ed: Thanks Gordon. I've replaced the missing links and they are now viewable. If anyone does come across a link that doesn't work on the site please let me know.]


From: David Austin, Leicester, UK
Date: 28 Feb 2003 11:08
Subject: Re: Old Boys Briefs 022803

Hi Tony,

Could you please note the change of Email address please to The other e-mail address is getting loaded down with spam.

I like the pretty flags this time - very swish!
I am attaching a photo of the Air/Surface Movements Course at RAF Kidbrooke in Feb/March 1957 which you might like to display on the website. I am second from right in the front row.

Best wishes

David Austin


From: Murdo Macleod, Newport-on-Tay, UK
Date: 02 Mar 2003 11:56
Subject: Back Home!

Well here I am again back from the warmer climes, kicked out as being too old to go to war. Cheeky bustards, too old indeed!

The Captain on the Sir Galahad decided that it would be risky to put me in IPE gear in the heat of the gulf, if push should come to shove and the ship was exposed to a chemical risk. If that happened the ship would be lost anyway so the whole exercise was a lot of bullocks.

Mind you I suppose I'm glad to be home as I didn't fancy another war zone, no thank you very much and not with that clot anyway, as leaders go I'd have been safer with Saddam. If he thinks I'm too old then he should start to worry about himself and a few of the other old guys but that as they say is another story.

I didn't agree with the scenario in the first place as its just a face saving ploy on the part of the Americans for cocking it up the first time around. George Bush Sr should never have stopped Stormin' Norman, but them's the breaks and now some other poor sucker gets to finish off somebody else's dirty washing.

Anyway I'm back home and laid low at the moment with some sort of infection to my leg which was doing fine until I became allergic to the antibiotics, so now I'm sitting at home cogitating, and waiting for everything to get better so that I can hopefully resume work.

Cheers for now and keep up the good work Tony



From: Charles Collier, Marlborough, UK
Date: 03 Mar 2003 07:20
Subject: Another Halton Apprentice Story

Hello Tony,

As you can see from my postings list I started as an RAF Apprentice at Halton in 1958. We were a motley bunch of young men from all parts of the UK arriving at Wendover station on the 16 September of that year to be met by steely eyed drill staff Sgts and Cpls who ordered us on to waiting 3 ton trucks. We knew from that moment that we were up against the proverbial brick wall for the next three years of the apprenticeship!

On arrival in the Initial Training Flight we were not alone! For Halton was the training ground for a number of other nations aircraft technicians - Rhodesians; New Zealanders; Burmese and last but not least Venezuelans. In the 30 man barrack room in the next pit space to me was Aircraft Apprentice Ildermaro Lara Hernandez. He became a friend. Also, from that Central American country was AA Garcia, AA Gonzales and a third who shall be nameless as he is the subject of this story!

The weekly washing of our clothing was underway the barrack block rooms having sacks for communal collection. It was returned at the end of the week and the washing cycle would start again.

It wasn't long before we noticed that our shreddies were missing from the returns. We complained to our superiors and they investigated. Two weeks went by and on the Saturday morning kit inspection we were brought to attention and in marched the flight commander and duty Sgt. The Officer moved from bed to bed until he got the our friend the nameless Venezuelan. He instructed the Sgt to remove the kitbag from the bed and open and empty it's contents on the floor. To our complete amazement out tumbled two weeks of our unwashed shreddies!

The said AA was arrested and it wasn't long before he was sent back home.

In many ways it was an amusing incident for us but it did give us an insight into the working of the human mind - the guy was a SNIFFER. Whatever turns you on!

We grew up very quickly at Halton!



What's in a name? Apparently a lot. I've had quite a few e-mailed Old Boys Briefs that were sent to Hotmail accounts returned as undeliverable lately and I think I know what might have caused it. There is an option available for Hotmail subscribers under the Junk Mail heading, "Choose your Junk Mail Filter Level" and clicking on the radio button marked "Enhanced" will not allow certain types of mail to enter your Inbox. Unfortunately as I send the mail out in bulk (50 in a group) and the subject matter contains words which might be construed as indecent (Old Boys Briefs - how can that be?), it would appear that the newsletter is treated as unsolicited mail of a questionable nature. I have renamed the subject to read "OBB xxxxxx" (where "xxxxxx" is the date code associated with the issue). Hopefully this will not be seen as nasty mail - we'll see.


Well, that's it for this week

Have a great weekend!

Best regards