Gatineau/Ottawa
10 May 2002

 

New members joining us this week are:

Stuart Walker from Lancaster, UK

Gordon Fraser from Fife, UK

Andy Barnett from Aylesbury, UK

Welcome to the OBA!

 

From:     Phil Clarke, Vienna,
To:         Pete Simpson, Stourbridge, UK 
Date:      05 May 2002 06:07
Subject:  Home & Away

O(umlaut)berburgermeister Indeed!  Never heard such nonsense - I'm much more important than that!

If you want confirmation just ask the Bar Staff at the Fly Inn (General Aviation Terminal), and the Fly Bar (Ariston Airport Hotel - 50% discount on booze for airline/port staff).  I am very important to their profit margins.

Speaking of the Ariston I was talking to the GM on Friday night, he has a fancy flashing lights electronic coin in the slot dart board, which no-one uses.  A mad paddy who works at the airport, and I talked him into replacing  it with a genuine fibre board one and hokky mat.  Like an idiot I talked myself into buying the stuff when I come to the UK next Tuesday - I only open my gob to put the proverbial in it.

I am also totally responsible for every nut and screw that goes on our magnificent Boeing fleet - which brings us naturally enough to this weeks quiz.  The beautiful red crew cap (NOT baseball cap - just looks similar) goes to the Old Boy who writes an original witty story as to whether I am responsible for Technical Matters or Passengers boarding our flights.

Horrified to hear about your baggage - I have had very harsh words with our Baggage Misrouting Department, and they have promised to improve on 24 hours the next time you travel with us.  The computer is programmed so that the second you check in your old bag will be destined for a short break at every Austrian Group destination.  So make sure you pack all the  essentials – clean underwear, questionable magazines, you know – just the important stuff.

If you need a crew cap yourself so much, you have three choices.  Win one in the aforementioned quiz, buy one off one of our gorgeous flight attendants ( the girls are quite nice too), whilst your baggage heads for Osaka.  Or come up to Bolton next week to buy me a pint and one will be waiting for you - plus a bonus of a Blow Up Lauda Air Dolphin Like Aeroplane (use your imagination).  It's only 70 miles from Stourbridge (a doddle for a MAMS mover) - I know this 'cause I visited the
Stourbridge.com web site.  A disgrace - the How Far page mentions Manchester but not Bolton, and horror of horrors Munich but not Vienna.  Please have words with them to ensure these omissions are corrected.

Seriously though, if you, or anyone else for that matter, can make it for a small OBA nostalgia trip it would be great.  I'm purposefully not hiring a car so I can spend most of my time with Mum, whilst we still have time.  However she's promised to let me out at night providing I'm back on the last bus.

I've just seen your photos, for some reason they didn't come up on my work computer.  Correction - the TwinPins are 152 (Nizam of Hydererbad) Squadron.  I used to load and trim those little buggers once or twice a week, and what with?  Booze and bacon for the Kuwait Liaison Team – those guys delayed Iraq's plans for a considerable period of time.

Some sad news - Lauda no longer fly scheduled services to UK.  We pulled out of Gatwick 4 years ago, and went code share with Austrian to LHR, and the start of this summer season has seen our twice daily CRJ service to Manchester replaced with one daily flight operated by an Embraer 45 of Rheintalflug.  Even worse our Station Manager at Manchester has to change her uniform from Lauda to Austrian.  So it will be difficult for you to buy a crew cap, you probably will be a disaster at the quiz,
therefore your choice of 3 has been whittled down to one.

One last word - message for everyone.  Here in Vienna we have a very tough street firm - all male and as tough as nails.  Nothing they like better than a rumble, and they are willing to visit the UK to have very harsh words with every old boy who has not dropped something into the Computer Fund Hat.  Who are these folks who put fear into the hearts of the SAS, SBS and elite forces from around the world.  You have been warned - The Vienna Boys Choir are coming for you - so dig deep.

All for now - keep the faith

Phil

[Ed:  Thanks for the competition again Phil - I did receive my Lauda "Crew" baseball cap - and it's a beautiful thing!]

 

BRITISH NAVY GUTTED, CRITIC SAYS

Associated Press

London - Government cuts have weakened the British navy to the point where it is a coastal force no longer capable of mounting global operations, the opposition Conservative party charged yesterday.

Bernard Jenkin, the opposition spokesperson on defence, denounced government moves to withdraw Sea Harrier jet fighter bombers from aircraft carriers and the mothballing of a carrier.

Despite a government pledge to maintain military forces capable of fighting a medium-scale war anywhere in the world, Jenkin said the navy will barely be able to venture beyond the British coast.  In military terms, a coastal navy is seen as the weakest kind of force.  

"Without air defence and the ships to support air defence, we are basically becoming a coastal Royal Navy, which is a betrayal of what the government promised to do," he said.

Jenkin said the government was short-funding defence, and the cuts risked putting the lives of British service personnel at risk.

"The government is failing to fund its defence policy effectively.  They put at the heart of their strategic defence review this expeditionary capacity, the idea of being able to take to war to the enemy," he told BBC radio.

"The government is now abandoning that policy with the scrapping of the Sea Harriers, which means that we won't be able to put the Royal Navy to sea, because it won't have air defence," he added.

The government is consolidating the navy's and air force's Harrier forces, but insists it won't effect overall capability.  The government is also committed to building two large aircraft carriers to replace the existing force of three small carriers.

 

From:     Robbie Taylor, Doncaster,
To:         Jack Riley, Urangan, Qld., Australia 
Date:      05 May 2002 11:31
Subject:  Fund Raising

Hi Jack,

I cannot believe the lack of support you received from the members regarding the fund raising. With a total of 190 (+/-) members I would have thought just a fiver each could have covered Tony's costs.
 
I will again dip into the wife's purse and despatch what I can find. Lets hope others might do the same.
 
Cheers     

Robbie

 

From:     John Holloway, Shrewsbury,
Date:      07 May 2002 17:22
Subject:  Marvels of the Internet

Hi Tony

The marvels of the Internet are really great.  Since I’ve started to use it more since I retired it’s been quite amazing the contacts from the past that I’ve made.

A couple of months ago I came into contact with a couple of mates in Aussi that I worked with there in the 1960’s and this month has been quite amazing; Jim Aitken and myself have come into contact with a Mover from our era,  a P/O Air Mover who was at Mauripur when I was stationed there in the 1950’s.  I’ve persuaded him to join the Mauripur Assoc which he has done so, but so far I don’t think he has contacted you though both  Jim and I have  tried to persuade him to contact you.

A couple of weeks ago I was surfing thru the various websites and on one called Service Pals I saw a name I recognized from square bashing days at Bridgnorth.  I duly made contact and we’ve had some really great telecons and e-mails between us.  It turns out he’s the secretary of The RAF Regiment Association and is the webmaster for the Rockape website and we’ve arranged to meet up.  Like me, he enjoys a pint, so it’s going to be pretty good. I’ve also made contact with a couple of ex Mauripurians (not ex movers) and they’ve joined the Mauripur Assoc and are really chuffed now that they have made contact with old mates from the late 40’s and early 50’s.  So, we’ve not all ‘faded away’ yet.

FlyPast magazine have a free screensavers available if you want to download them.  There are a half dozen classic aircraft to look at if you don’t want the bog standard savers available on the usual net just log on to http://www.flypast.com   and they’re there waiting for you.

Cheers for now

Jhy


[Ed:  Thanks John.  I am always amazed at the power of the Web myself.]

 

A  plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.
 
The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.  The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that
because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!"

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says "I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I have learned to speak 'blonde'!"

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and without question she gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."

 

From:      Jack Riley, Urangan, Qld.,
Date:       08 May 2002 21:32
Subject   [No subject]

Dear Tony,

Would you please add Ian Newlands and John McGrath to my list of last week.  Snail mail it seems!

Thanks team. I hope the money is pouring in this week.

Regards

Jack

 

From:     Dave Barton, Kings Lynn,
Date:      09 May 2002 19:43
Subject:  Kidbrooke

Dear Tony,

Thought you may be interested in the attached photo taken about 1962 at the RAF Movements School at RAF Kidbrooke.

Top left is Derek Pilkington. Far right from top to bottom is Jack Murray, Terry Titterington and self. Bottom third left F.Sgt Wally Waltham. If I remember correctly the course was of six weeks duration devoting four to Air and two to Sea movements.

At the time I was working at JSCBC in Rochester Row in London after moving from the Central London Recruiting Depot in Great Scotland Yard. The only names I remember were Sgt. John Jennings, Flt.Lt. Murphy, SAC's Ken Fong and Jim McIntosh and of course myself and a few army bods. Two flights a week from RAF Manston (Eagle Airways I think) and used to do the outbound documentation on the train down to Margate. Had to remain at Manston for the return flight from Germany to collect the paperwork - there was a good bar at the airport!

Dave Barton

[Ed:  Got the picture Dave, and you can view it in Images 1960 on the website - many thanks. Tell me, is your poison of choice still "Teachers" ??

 

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager.

"Never better."

The manager was impressed, "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained, "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

 

Well, that's it for this week

Have a great weekend!

Best regards,

Tony