27 July 2001


Just a few hours late this week with the Briefs – but it’s still Friday 27th here!

Joining us this week are:

Steve Legg from Manchester UK

Gordon Gourdie from Euxton, Lancs, UK

Welcome to the OBA!

From: Shuggie Shewan
To : IbDib
Subject : Re: Old Boys Briefs 072001
Date : Sat, 21 Jul 2001 23:17:02 +0100


Re Rip Kirby's address, try this one

Rgds Shuggie

[Ed: Thanks Shuggie – by the way did you see yourself as a mere lad in the Mov Ops course photo?]

From : Gordon Gourdie
Subject : OBA Membership
Date : Mon, 23 Jul 2001 14:07:52 +0000


I hope this reaches you ok as I am using a company PC and am restricted (electronically) as to what I can transmit. Hopefully I will have my own PC at home in the near future and will then be able to make some sort of contribution to the

I am able to access the OBA most lunch times and do enjoy seeing some old Familiar names cropping up and of course some of the old stories that many of us will be familiar with.

Hope this finds you well.

[Ed: Thanks Gordon – nice to hear from you after all these years]


From : Don Massa
Subject : Noise Abatement Procedures
Date : Mon, 23 Jul 2001 10:11:12 –0600

"United 344, turn right to 037 for noise abatement" the controller at the Albuquerque ATC advised...

"Roger, right to 037" the pilot responded, "but Albuquerque, we're at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we be making up here?"

"United 344" the controller replied, "have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?"

[Ed: Thanks Don – keep ‘em coming!]


From David Barrett
Subject : Re: MovOps course photo
Date : Mon, 23 Jul 2001 20:50:03 +0100

Hi Tony

Thanks for the mail. Just to let you know though, the second left middle row isn't Steve Burke, but Mick Case!



[Ed: Thanks Ginge – it will be changed]


New on the site this week? Lots, at least from where I’m sitting. I have been doing MAJOR revamping of the pages – and believe me there are a lot of pages on the site!

All of the Images pages have been overhauled, and there is a new feature installed called “Mystery Photograph” (I know it’s not an original name – suggestions anyone?) Regardless, I will try and put a “Mystery” into that page every week or so and eagerly await your suggestions as to what it might be

The first Mystery Photograph did get a couple of good responses, which are reprinted below. If anyone is sitting on a photograph that they would like included in that feature just forward it to me and I’ll make sure it gets published.

I am going to update the Home Page after all the others have been done – and I will include some "magic" into it that will, I hope, be fascinating stuff. Don’t forget I’m still very much a novice at design etc., so I have to read the book first!


From Ian Berry
Subject : Mystery Photograph Suggestions
Date : Tue, 24 Jul 2001 20:02:43 +0100


I thought initially that this was the V2 Rocket that was being delivered via a German C160 Transall for the Science Museum at Wroughton.

After some digging:

where? RAF Abingdon

when? 28 May 1970

what? German V2 Rocket plus ancillaries

who? Loaded by a UKMAMS team of 6 men plus Fg Off Brian Shorter

why? Don't know - possibly a gift for the Deutches Museum in Munich


Ian Berry

[Ed: Thanks Ian – Norrie Radcliffe had very kindly sent that photograph many moons ago and I really wasn’t too sure about it. I do have some others on hand for future features.]


From Bill Nangle
Subject : re: This and That
Date : Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:54:15 –0700

Hi Tony,

I haven't had a chance of viewing the site for a while, I'm just getting over a heart attack and so have been trying to "behave" myself. The old blood pressure is still through the roof, but hopefully the pills will bring that under control pretty quickly.

For a guy who has never been sick in his life and never really visited a Dr except for medicals etc, I've had a lifetime supply of Dr visits lately.

As soon as I feel up to it I'll get the Bio done.

Regards to all the Muppets.


[Ed: Sorry to hear that Bill. Does that mean you will not be able to fly anymore? Speaking from personal experience you’re going to have to change your lifestyle radically from now on. I’m sure the rest of the OBA will join with me in wishing you improved health – As for taking pills? I found that just one aspirin a day works wonders!


From : Terry Roberts
Subject New email address
Date : Wed, 25 Jul 2001 13:03:59 +0100


Just to let you know I have a new email address.

Thank you


[Ed: Thanks Terry – I have updated the records]


From : Stephen Nicholson
Subject : A little something for the weekend
Date : Thu, 26 Jul 2001 08:30:40 +0200

Dear Gentlemen,

(Always assuming that there are still some there)

I trust that you will find the following relatively pertinent, and accurate to an amazing degree. It was forwarded to me by an old colleague in NZ, where the workings of the British military are renowned for their ineffectiveness.


Steve Nicholson

How the Military deal with snakes...

1. Infantry: Tracks snake through jungle. Snake smells them and quickly leaves area, traveling upwind.

2. Parachute Regiment: Lands on and kills snake.

3. Armour: Runs over snake, laughs and looks for more snakes.

4. Cavalry: Treats snake with haughty disdain as having no impact on primary objective - to hold London against Roundheads at all costs.

5. Royal Marine Commando: Plays with snake, gets smashed with snake. Eats snake.

6. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares tactical plan for fixing snake using counter-mobility assets and defeating snake using mobility assets. Chain of command pays no attention. Snake falls into hole dug by infantry and drowns.

7. Artillery: Fires 3 hour concentrated barrage. Misses snake. Tree blown up by stray round falls on snake and kills it. Mission declared successful and all participants awarded gallantry medals.

8. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake and, ignoring Foreign Office directives, builds rapport with snake and starts winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files massive expenses claim. Writes best-seller "Python Two Zero".

9. Army Medical Services: Snake dies by mistake on operating table. Dissects snake.

10. Royal Navy: Fires 183 missiles from 17 ships. Estimates 60% of snake killed. Makes PowerPoint presentation to MoD Select Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost effective means of conducting anti-snake operations.

11. TA Kills snake by accident on weekend camp. Keeps quiet about it.

12. RAF: Obtains geo-co-ordinates for snake. Alerts 40 Jaguars, 20 Harriers, RAF Regiment. Loads laser-guided bombs by mistake. Flies in at 20,000 feet. Can't find snake. Drops bombs in sea on way home. Returns to base for crew rest, dry-cleaning collection, facial and manicure.

13. Intelligence Corps: Snake? What snake? Only 4 of 35 indicators of snake presence currently active. Assesses potential for snake activity as low. Dies of snakebite.

14. Defence Logistic Organization: Orders 2 year study by Anderson Consultants at cost of 1.5M, generating massive workload at grade 1 staff level. Report finds that killing snake may contribute to 20% output costing savings by inclusion of snake meat in tri-Service messing. Snake Meat Implementation Team formed, with 2-star tri-Service steering group. Aim to introduce snake meat into all messes and ration packs by 2002. Snake experts from Special Forces and Gurkhas told not know what talking about. High profile £2M PR campaign launched featuring celebrity chef Ainsley Harriott and retired 4-star officers keen to supplement their excessive pensions. Snake meat launched in Service messes and restaurants to resounding clamour of apathy. Desperate to recoup lost money, Army demolishes 300 married quarters and sells snake meat holdings to Indian and Canadian Armed Forces.

15. Defence Procurement Agency: Decide they want to buy a Snake. Offer ambiguous contract out for tender. Contract states that an eel will be supplied as Government Furnished Equipment and must be modified to meet the performance characteristics of a snake as laid out in the aforementioned ambiguous contract. 6 years late and 3 billion pounds over budget, the project is scrapped and a COTS snake is bought from the USA for $10 billion.

16. Adjutant General: Determines that snake is not black, female, homosexual or disabled. Loses interest.

(Nice site, by the way)

[Ed: Many thanks Steve – I’m sure this will elicit a few stifled giggles and guffaws in the corridors of the MoD!]


From : Scott Innes
Subject : Mystery Photograph Suggestions
Date : Fri, 27 Jul 2001 09:51:28 +0100


Looks like a WW2 A4/V2 rocket (99% certain that it is). I know the RAF Museum at Cosford have one and there is also one at Duxford.

There is also an example at the imperial war museum in London which has a nice cut away section to see inside, maybe it was gifted by the German Government and was sent across the channel this way (50 years late and at 300mph instead of at
mach 2)!!

See attached image.


Network Technician
Operational IT Department
Worcestershire Acute Hospitals NHS Trust
Newtown Hospital
Newtown Road


[Ed: Thanks Scotty – the photograph you sent will be “married up” with the original when it gets put into the 1960’s Images page]


From : Philipp Clarke
Subject : A Prayer for the Stressed
Date : Fri, 27 Jul 2001 14:02:09 +0200

A Prayer For The Stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves. Also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I have to kiss tomorrow

Help me always to give 100% at work

12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40%on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
AND 5% on Friday

And help me to remember when I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth

Hey, it's Friday - get to work

Luv from Phil

Philip M. Clarke
Lauda Air
Tel +43 1 7000 75124
Fax +43 1 7000 75125
Mob +43 676 5455015
E Mail:

[Ed: Thanks a lot Phil – I really needed that when I received it this morning!]


Well, that’s it for this week – oh yes, John Belcher was kind enough to forward some images of RAF crests that I have been searching for. One in particular is the “real” crest for Changi (not the lapel pin) which had been very elusive – Thanks John!

Have a great weekend

Best regards